I’ll start with events. I drove the coach from Hungrytown Hollow Road to Simmons Gap Rd. An almost uneventful 40 miles until I cut the turn into the driveway short and dropped the right rear wheels into the ditch. The saving grace of it was a neighbor farmer who stopped by took a look and ran off to get blocks and such. An hour later we had lifted the wheels onto cinder blocks and I was able to drive the coach out of the ditch! I called the wrecker that charges $750/hour and suggested he head back home. A mighty thanks to Steve. It was beyond a random act of kindness and I have no idea how I will ever be able to pay it forward.
Carol is unhappy primarily because a woman who had been a sister to her before Alzheimer took her away, died. The loss is final. Also she learned today that she has to wear her turtle shell for two more weeks. I am still picking her up on Friday. I still plan to head to Rochester on the 7th. we will cope.
I have been feeling a bit lost these days. Although our sons have never let me feel alone, I miss having Carol by my side. I have so many online activities, from JCATs to our weekly zoom with classmates David and David and their spouses Toby and Terry. There is no way I should have time to feel lonely. TBK services for the holidays on YouTube were marvelous, but at the end of the services the screen went black. Where are all our friends we raised our families with sitting in the same seats year after year. Where is the opportunity to come down from the service with a bit of chit chat and catching up with people we haven’t seen in a year. During the service where was the rustle of pages and clothing and people sitting near me to remind me that I am not alone. Here I was actively davening (praying) standing alone in my motorhome or for one service with the delight of having my son Dan join me for the service, but IN MY MOTORHOME. I know all those attending experienced this in some way. It was far better than not attending, but for all the wonderful work the Rabbis and staff put into the preparation and delivery, and it was wonderful, it could not make up for the aloneness.
Carol will be with me on Friday, with her brace, and we will neither of us be alone, or if we are it will be in the life we have chosen for ourselves together. A few days here in Virginia for Carol to get to see the new farm and then to the cozy comfort of our Rochester apartment for a while visiting at a distance with great friends and getting GeeWhiz restored to its roadworthy self. Then back across the country to our other community for the winter, and maybe a trip to Sicily, if such a thing can ever happen again.
Missed you too, my Temple seat mates! Had many of the same thoughts. It was warmer at home. 😉 Missed breaking the fast and our usual “schnapps” too🥰
Wow!! I can sure identify with you, Paul. Even though Dave is with me, his disease is progressing, and I often feel alone. Our kids are very supportive and willing to help, but not having any outside “entertainment” and being able to join with friends for a good movie, a good concert, a good rodeo, a good ice cream cone, anything to be out and about and with those we cherish. I am so glad to hear that Carol will be with you in just a couple of days. That will help immensely. I heard on some medical show today on TV that the suicide rate and the anxiety people are feeling is very high. This is very hard for everyone, I think.
We are able to go to church at 50% capacity, but I am not comfortable leaving Dave for over an hour, but I do miss the hugs and fellowship of our dear Pinnacle Family. Everyone else says the same thing. We do have services on line as you have just experienced. But, it is definitely not the same – better than nothing, and incredible the work people do to make it happen, but there is nothing like the feel of a warm handshake or hug or kind, encouraging word.
Hang in there my dear friends!!! I look forward to hearing from you on your trip to Rochester. I wish you many blessings as you and Carol can resume your life together. I keep you both in my prayers.
God Bless & Love – Darlene
Believe me when I tell you it was even more disconcerting to sit in a completely empty TBK sanctuary during Kol Nidre, running audio for WXXI listeners out there… somewhere that wasn’t in there with me. It did not feel like Yom Kippur at all, and as hard as everyone worked to make something happen, I ended the day feeling as empty as the room.
Here’s to a better year ahead for us all!
Glad to hear that Carol is making progress! More steps forward. Hooray!
Wow what a soulful post. Good to get those feelings out I’ll bet. You’ve both been through sooo much. Bravo! Hugs Jane xxoo
Hello my dears, I’m glad that you Carol will be able to make your escape soon from institutional life – which is no life at all. You need to be around your beloved, to gather her strength. Safe, safe, careful journeys heading our way. Love to you both. It’s been a slog, and it ain’t over – but it’s getting brighter.
We send you both our love. May you take a moment to close your eyes to visualize it. That’s the best we can do for now. xxoo