A Strange and Painful Week

A week ago I moderated my first Zoom meeting. Today I am beginning to  feel like a pro – actually I paid for a Pro account to accommodate longer meetings. We like to talk when we get together and 40 minutes isn’t very long either  for family or JCATs. 

Early in the week we learned that our sister-in-law Natalie Rudin had a very serious stroke, at 85 this is not to be taken lightly. By Thursday she was in hospice in NJ and no way for anyone except her son to even see her. We gathered the family from coast to coast and NJ to FL on Zoom and spent time getting reacquainted and starting to share memories of Natalie. Friday afternoon we received word she had died. Shabbat precluded immediate sharing, we have received word the funeral will be Sunday and will be live streamed in some manner. Shiva, the 7 days of mourning in Jewish ritual,  will be on Zoom. It enables us all to be “present” and saves a lot of air travel. Would rather get on the plane, but . . .

Also during this week we learned that Carol’s dearest friend from before Kindergarten – even before me – is in hospice after a long time of in and out of hospital care and weeks of no news. 

Pile this all on top of quarantine and necessary supply trips and it has been an exhausting week. A week like we have never seen, a week of watching stock market gyrations that are making me sea sick and I don’t get sea sick on the ocean. Sometimes, unintentionally I hear the orange head proclaim something clearly contrary to fact and wonder how our nation will pull through both medically and economically. Many governors seem to be actually responding to facts and scientific reason rather than emotion and bias. That may well be the source of our recovery leadership. 

Carol and I feel safe and secure. We are still under quarantine from our return from Panama, only yesterday was our scheduled return. We made a trip into town on Thursday to get hearing aids for Carol and pick up some last minute necessities – Yellow Dot Irish Whiskey is clearly a necessity isn’t it. We also bought supplies for a neighbor. We have daily offers to run errands and help us with things we cannot do in quarantine. As soon as we hear of someone having a need it seems a member will supply the need, even to an internet router replacement.  

I attended two events in Rochester. On Monday I attended a meeting of the Rochester Jewish Community Board of Directors by Zoom like all the other members. Yesterday afternoon we attended Shabbat services at Temple B’rith Kodesh in Rochester, it was a bit early, but we needed the break and the sanity and even more it brought us back to the community where we have spent most of our lives. We do miss it, but not quite enough to give up our current lifestyle and venture back into winter.

4 thoughts on “A Strange and Painful Week”

  1. Dear dear Carol and Paul,

    I am so sorry for your painful losses. May their memories be for a blessing. It is beyond painful that you cannot touch, hold or kiss friends and family of your loved ones. This is an extraordinary time of loss for our global community, but these losses are nakedly personal. Old friends, dear relatives….saying goodbye from far away doesn’t cut it, I know, but with Zoom and love, there is some comfort. Still it hurts enormously to lose a dear one – and an integral part of who you are. Again, I am so sorry. With love, Cath

  2. I’m sad to hear about your losses and struggles, but have so much faith in your strength and vitality — through both good and bad times. Much love to you both. My hearing aids changed my life — hope the same is true for Carol.

  3. One good thing is the amazing support from neighbors and friends. When we walk, we stop often (safe distance) and have lovely conversations with people from our community that we have never met. The goats have been out the back fence eating the weeds and entertaining us. And the most complete and beautiful rainbow shown over the hill across the valley. All these things make coping easier.

  4. My sympathies to you for your losses. It is very hard when you can’t be with loved ones for their last days, hours or minutes! My prayer now is for you and Carol to have peace and love as you hold their memories very dear. God Bless both of you! Darlene

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