I am sorting out some feeling that caught me by surprise during services. Carol and I have sat in the same pew area of the same synagogue for so many years we cannot remember ever sitting anywhere else. As we sat in an adjacent pew because of the set up for streaming the mixed media service, I contemplated the empty pew. I thought back to the days of sitting there with our boys, my parents and Carol’s and aunts and uncles and friends and acquaintances. some of whom we only ever socialized with during the holidays. Saving seats was an endless topic of conversation, at one time we claimed an entire pew. The entire section of pews was empty. The people who belonged there were not present. I know that many were staying home and attending the streamed service on Youtube. Still I missed their presence.
Our children and their children are not in Rochester and their mode of worship is different from ours. There is no right or wrong, just different so that even if they were nearby they probably would not choose to sit in these pews.
So many others are no longer with us. I open my email with a kind of dread each day as I watch for postings from Brighton Memorial Chapel with yet another loss. As I contemplated this thought; Rabbi Stein talked about witnessing life from two sides. We pray “thank G-d for bringing us to this wonderful day” and we pray “thank G-d for our having survived an illness/accident/dangerous travel” My Jewish readers will recognize these as shehecheyanu and birkat hagomel. We seem to spend life suspended between these two points.
All of this thought brought me to tears I have not experienced in some time. I really really miss those who are gone. I miss the presence of those still with us who for good reason chose not to be physically present. I miss the physicality of the community that has been our home for more than 70 years.
I need to thank the Rabbis, Peter Stein and Rochelle Tulik for using their sermons to bring new understanding of where we are today and where I am as well. I know that they devote much thought to these words. They need to know that they reached at least one member of the congregation.
So very nice, Paul! L’Shana Tova .
Love,
Judy
No truer words spoken by your rabbi, and no truer feelings bringing me to tears. I long for those we have lost along the way and am reminded of the words the priest said at our dear friends funeral…we have only the memories and they should be cherished.. but with the memories comes pain at what might have been…but still we go on…
Dear friend, your words brought me to tears. Know that I miss our pew as much as you do. I missed watching you adjust your tallit at least 3 times during the service and blow the shofar for all of us. 🙂 I missed sitting as close to Carol as possible to stay warm in the always too cold a/c. Although I know there are times to be smart and safe, it’s a painful loss. Our Rabbis’ words struck home with me too. Hopefully it will soon be birkat hagomel and shehechyanu.
Special words Paul and as a Christian we are
on the same page going forward my friend.
Be well
Ted
Thanks, Paul!
I appreciate your deeply felt and well expressed sentiments.
They touched my heart.
On FB l was Happy to see that a friend filmed the Shofar blowers and that you outdid yourself , once again.
Love and best wishes on your travels this year to you and Carol.
Dear Dad,
So many years since I sat with you, Mom, grandparents, and so many others, family and friends, in those pews, and your words brought it all back like it was yesterday.
Seems to be a year for reflecting on two sides of the coin. Rabbanit Alyssa spoke about how the unetaneh tokef places us between flourishing life and death, as she reflected on raising her toddler while tending to her critically ill father, and Rav Yosef reflected on a prayer recited over learning Torah that asks God to make the words of Torah sweet in our mouths and Areshet S’fateinu, recited after blowing the shofar during Mussaf, in which we ask that the sound of our shofar be sweet in God’s ears.
Shana tova (a good year) to all.
Love,
Yechiel